PROTOCOLS OF THE LEARNED ELDERS OF THE HUMAN W/RITES COMMISSION

Protocol XIII(I)

Poets and proseurs:
FEEL FREE
to wipe your boots on WELCOME
before entering this sanctimonium of society:

. . . . . Wiped your nose? . . . . . . Check.
. . . . . Wiped away the tears? . . .Check.
. . . . . Wiped your mouth? . . . . . Check.
. . . . . Wiped your ass? . . . . . . . Check.
. . . . . Cleaned up your act? . . . . Check.

Please line up on the left.

We are not neo-puritan police.
We are the politically correctional officers.
We disinfect discourse.
We continually upgrade nomenclature.
(negro => black => people-of-colour => African-American)
We prophylacticize bad words that hurt feel goods.
(DOWN WITH NO NO NO)
We heighten your social sensitivirtues
(UP WITH YES YES O YES)
We de-escalate discrimination and repair despair
We free your speech of contemptoxins.
We assist your desire for pure free speech
that uplifts the human spirit to soar with all the angels.

(REJECTIONISTAS, LINE UP ON THE RIGHT FOR RECTALFICATION PROTOCOLS)

Those with outstretched tongues
repeat after us:
. . . . . . . . . I swear to speak in n-words
. . . . . . . . . Wholly in n-words
. . . . . . . . . Nothing but n-words
. . . . . . . . . So help me NICE!

NB: NICE is a four letter n-word.
Free-speak is Nice-speak is the new speakeasy.
Spread the glorious massage of your sensitized tongues.
Watch your words work wonderfuls

Conform to the Code for grant continuity
Be nice or be iced
and remember
who has
the last
word.