Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Your Imagine Nation or Your Life

Click on image to enlarge

This young frightened poet

is denying some serious issues.

Not all poets make it through their difficult formative years with lyrical agility or arrogant aplomb. The worst find themselves abandoned, slouching towards bedlam on the streets of the Dominion of Bland Gland, stripped of metaphors and verbs, unable to articulate their presence.

Poet Polls released a 5-year study last spring, revealing that those poets with only one chapbook to their name, remain the most vulnerable demographic of Poetry. “The first five years after a first chapbook are the most dangerous for poets,” declared the report. "It's a culling of the wordsmiths, removing strains of pulp friction."

Watch for these signs: unrelenting melancholy punctuated with exclamation points of elation, delusions of editorial whitelisting and blackwashing, carries an equine feedbag stuffed with reject letters, clothes smell of mimeograph alcohol, and gross gregariousmess.

If you see a troubled poet, key THE-911-POET. At the sound of the beep, press the GPS key. That's all it takes to rescue a vulnerable poet from a fate worse than mediocrity.